My Dream Girl Don't Exist

An early unreleased song, "My Dream Girl Don't Exist" is very popular with NMH fans despite the fact that it really only exists in the form of a single live bootleg. It was also featured on an early demo tape, but that version is warbled to the point of being almost unlistenable (apparently on purpose, though it sounds as though the tape had been damaged somehow.) The live performance was at Aquarius Records '96, which happens to be the most widely available (and earliest) live NMH recording to be circulated amongst fans. While there's no sign that Jeff played the song after this show, parts of its lyrics seem to have crept into other songs. The last line was used in the song "Ghost" ("She goes and now she knows she'll never be afraid"). Additionally, the lyrics bring to mind the opening lines of "Holland, 1945" ("The only girl I've ever loved was born with roses in her eyes, but then they buried her alive...") Some fans also see a connection to "Communist Daughter" ("The soothing proves that she must still exist").

It's been pointed out that the music to "My Dream Girl Don't Exist" bares resemblance to the Green Day song "When I Come Around", albeit a very stripped-down acoustic adaptation of the pop-punk track which was a hit in 1994. Was Jeff Mangum a closet Green Day fan?! Haha, probably not. In fact, his demo version (on Invent Yourself a Shortcake) is supposedly from 1991, thereby predating Dookie by 3 years. So any similarity is just a coincidence; it's certainly not the first song to ever use that chord progression.

Also Known As
My Dreamgirl Don't Exist
My Dreamgirl

Available
Invent Yourself a Shortcake - demo version
7/4/96 Aquarius Records, San Francisco, CA (bootleg) - live version

Lyrics
(like lyrics for most unreleased songs, these are unconfirmed)

My dream girl don't exist
And at the age of five she slit her wrists
She didn't know that I'd be hanging around
So her parents buried her in the ground
To this day I can still hear the sound
Of her life in outer space

My dream girl don't exist
It's just you and I and this TV
And this illness seems to feel so strange
Like a henchman that's about to hang
The moon up like a ball and chain
And set its hands ablaze

And the weight is waiting, oh
To build a world so real and strong

My dream girl don't exist
Just a photograph in a history book
And I believe she had a voice and name
Three children on the coast of Maine
Her life was in a hurricane
Of love and real embrace

My dream girl don't exist
And at the age of 5 she slit her wrists
She didn't know that I'd be hanging around
So one day she took a stroll to town
And walked in front of a greyhound bound
For New York central state

And the weight is waiting, oh
And the weight is waiting, oh
To build a world so real and strong
She goes and now she knows
She'll never be afraid

Guitar chords

main:
E B C#m A

end:
E                                B
  And the wait is waiting oh
E                                B
  And the wait is waiting oh
E                                    A     B
  Build a world so real and stroonnng
B                                                              E
She goes and now she knows she'll never be afraid

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